Friday, March 6, 2009

Time Sucker

Friday: Secretary (Early Day) / Off! (Night)

The Boss Lady in my department always says that someone has sucked the hours out of the day, and she's absolutely right! I'm not sure if little elves or creatures in the walls are the culprit, but something somewhere is sucking every minute out of every day. I don't really have a lot of room to breath. Okay, okay, so I'm being melodramatic, but really.

Something has been on my mind this week, and although I didn't think to blog about it now, I am trying to let it fly from my brain. This week in class, we were talking about having "emotional intelligence" and what that means. We were discussing different types of people and how some can read their emotions and others cannot.
During this discussion, I was using depression as an example, and I stated that there have been times when I've felt depressed, but it wasn't something I ever felt the need to medicate. I took it upon myself to find something (reading, writing, drawing, screaming) to "channel" that depression. It's something I learned to do, however. I didn't know how to deal with it as a child or adolescent, it was something I had to acquire.
I went on to mention that there are people out there who were never taught how to deal with their emotions, or they simply never learned, or don't have the instinct, and are unable to "cure" themselves of their emotional affliction.
A student then mentioned how there are people who are clinically depressed. I didn't disagree with this, but I think he was bringing it up because it is considered hereditary. (Which, I felt fell under the umbrella of those people who don't know how to read their emotions.) Anyway, I think I offended him because then he went on to mention that there are 25, 000, 000 people in this country who are clinically depressed, and he is currently seeing a psychiatrist for depression.
At that, I mentioned that I didn't think all of them were actually clinically depressed. (I personally feel that our country is WAY over-medicated.) I definitely should not have said that, but in the moment that was my opinion, and it came out. I immediately knew that that was not the right thing to say.
He went on to mention that he is a recovering alcoholic and at 25 years sober. The entire class applauded him. I believe he was defending his depression by saying that he was born with it and he couldn't help it (although he never came out and said that, this is just my own assessment of the situation). I then turned the conversation a little, apologizing for my being insensitive, and asked him if I could ask him a question regarding his experience.
I asked him if his drinking was what lead to the depression. He said he drank to get rid of the depression. I then said that I believe, regardless of his heredity, affliction, or diagnosis, he had a choice, and, for whatever reason, he felt, that drinking was the answer. He made that decision. Furthermore, he then made another choice, later in life, to fix his other affliction, and that was to begin treatment for alcoholism.
Regardless of our situation, we have a choice. Always and forever.
Even though I didn't articulate myself very well, I think I may have redeemed myself. He did participate throughout the remainder of the class, which made me feel good. I imagined that if he were truly upset by my statement, he would have regressed from the class discussion, but he didn't.
I'm happy to get this off my chest. I had thoughts of emailing him to ensure that he did not take true offense. I rethought that and decided it wasn't necessary. He's usually the first to arrive, so I think I'll just check with him next week.
Mind you, this conversation spawned from an article we read in class. An article that the class will have to summarize and react upon in essay form. Perhaps our controversial conversation will inspire them. Who knows?

Tomorrow: Off (Day) / Server (Night)

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